During a potluck lunch, I was meandering around and visiting with different people when I happened upon a conversation between several people. The first thing that I heard from one of the participants was,

“When I tell my daughter that she should come to church, she tells me that she doesn’t need my organized religion.”

I have never been a huge fan of entering a conversation in the middle but in this case I was very tempted because my first inclination was to say, Yeah, I know exactly how she feels.  Instead, I simply listened. The very next question that was asked logically followed the first and there was very little surprise on my part that it was actually raised.

“How do we get our adult children back into church?”

The adult children mentioned here are all in their late twenties to early thirties and although they appeared at special services (Easter and Christmas), most had not set foot into a regular Sunday service in some time. Their parents were worried about them attending as if their eternal salvation depended upon their attendance at church. It gets worse though. Another of the people involved in this discussion had all but written off her adult children and now was focused on getting through to her grandchildren.

What?

Inevitably the most important question asked was,

“What can we do to change their minds in order to get them back here?”

Let me rephrase that question in order for it to sound the way it came across. What can we do to change their thinking?   I could no longer sit there in silence. I asked the group if they thought just for a minute that maybe it was time for them to stop focusing on how to change their kids and start focusing on how to change themselves.

There are two figures of speech that immediately come to mind to describe the reaction I got from these folks

• If Looks Could Kill
• Dead Silence

I just couldn’t let it rest either.  I took it a step further and said that I thought that we couldn’t possibly do anything to change the mindset of our children when our main concern involves putting butts in the pews on Sunday instead of actually caring about what was going on in our kid’s lives every other day and learning why they think the way that they do.  You know – authenticity?

I was essentially told that I didn’t know what the hell I was talking about so with that, I leaned over the table and very pointedly said that I understood exactly what their kids were talking about and excused myself from the conversation.

I guess the saying if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it still finds application in some circles.  It just seems to me that this is the wrong circle to be closed-minded in.

VIA Google Images - "Friday's Badge"

I stopped a car for going 69 mph in a posted 45 mph zone. Yeah, you heard right – 24 mph above the speed limit. After activating my overhead lights and then subsequently getting a grand tour of the area around the local Walmart store only to finally come to a stop where I wanted the person to go in the first place, I got to talk to the driver. My first words to him were, “Get back in your car!” and that was over the public address system. Needless to say, we’re already off to a great start. I approach the car and speak to the driver about his speed. He first tells me that he just did a u-turn but when I asked him where, he couldn’t tell me. (Pretty much a non issue anyway) I then told him that he was still in a 45 zone and his reply was that “The car is new and he’s not used to it”. He continues this statement by adding, “Besides, I’m a retired cop”.

So I ask for his driver’s license (which he hands me), registration and insurance. While his wife is now frantically digging around the glove box for the registration and insurance, I look at the driver’s hands because he is fumbling around with his wallet. This guy has his retired I.D. about half out of the sleeve so the only thing showing is a red band with the word POLICE in big white bold letters; AND HE WAS RUBBING IT WITH HIS THUMB. I actually had to stifle a laugh because as this was happening; I was standing there thinking to myself, “Oh yeah; right there. Rub it harder now. Yeah, that’s good…”

Eventually, I got all of his information and then went back to my car where I promptly wrote him a speeding ticket for 69 mph in a posted 45 mph zone. In Idaho, the fines are set by the State Legislature and there are only two fines for speeding. 1-15 mph above the speed limit is $85.00 and 16 or more above is $150.00. So I go back up to the car knowing full well what to expect, gave him back his documents and explained the citation to him. He asked me what the fine was so I told him. I never would have expected what came next.

This guy looks up from his window and tells me, “You’re a fucking asshole!” Fortunately for me, in 16 years on the job, I have grown a very thick skin and often times find these types of exchanges quite entertaining. This was no exception. My response to him was, “Yeah, and?” I think I caught him off guard because he didn’t say anything immediately. As I have trained myself to do now with this type of person, I told him to “have a very nice day”, smiled and started walking back to my car. As I was walking away, he told me, “I was a fucking cop for 19 years and I can’t believe you’d write me a ticket”. I couldn’t resist. I returned to his car and asked him if during that time, he treated people the way he was treating me now? He told me to “fuck off” so I again got to tell him to have a nice day and even waved at him as he sped away.

VIA Google Images - "Barney Fife"

I want to clarify that I am not upset about another cop treating me that way. I don’t really care because we are all human and as such have failings. What pissed me off was the fact that he expected to get a break because he was a retired cop and then treated me that way. Well that just doesn’t sit well with me. If you took the time to read the laws that I linked to, there is one really important thing that is not in them. They do not say anywhere that you may not exceed the posted speed limit, unless of course you’re a cop or a retired cop.

If there is anything that I want remaining intact at the end of my career, it’s going to be my integrity. With that thought always in mind, ethics is always a very important issue to me. As such, I cannot abide unethical behavior in other officers. That is what made me the maddest about this person; he expected that just because he was a retired cop, he deserved to get a break from me. Maybe, ethical behavior wasn’t such a huge deal in his career but it certainly is in mine. Officers have lost their jobs, careers and certifications over ethics violations.

There is nothing that pisses me off more than when another officer “badges” me; especially when it occurs when that officer has committed some type of violation. Let me be frank about this, if you badge me, you’re going to get paper. I understand that in some places, it is departmental policy to identify yourself as an officer. However, there are more polite ways to identify yourself than simply by shoving a piece of metal into somebody’s face. There’s a difference between, “I’m an off duty officer” and “Give me break because I’m a cop” and that difference is easy to pick out. If you’re mindset is of the latter, expect the unexpected.

I guess that it is the policy of some fire departments as well because I’ve also even been badged by fire fighters but I digress…

As a rule, I don’t even identify myself as a police officer when stopped unless I’m carrying my gun. I view being stopped by the police realistically. If I get a ticket, (1) I most likely deserve it and (2) it makes up for all the times that I didn’t get caught. I’m pretty sure that you don’t have to be a cop to understand that line of thinking.
Obeying the law from its simplest form to its most heinous is really just a matter of common sense. With respect to this recent incident and an infraction violation for speeding, this is even more of a common sense issue. Since the dawn of time, we have learned in driver’s training to not exceed the posted speed limit. In some cases, (like me as a juvenile…ahem) remedial training is provided by people wearing uniforms, who drive fast cars with flashy lights.

Now a special note to the person who I stopped; stop making excuses and start taking responsibility for your actions. You’re lucky I’m not a vindictive bastard or I would post your name here too. Maybe you’ll think about that next time….

Oh yeah….I’ll be watching!!

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It was what he said at the very end of this interaction that prompted this post.  This person told me that after everything that he had been through in the last two months, he thought it would have been more appropriate for me to give him a warning.  Of course, this was after I had already written the citation and he was holding a copy in his hands.  So with a smile on my face, I told him that while I understood that he would rather have a warning, in this case, I felt that a warning was not sufficient. What I wanted to tell him was, “I’m sorry, I forgot to consult my fucking crystal ball before I took action on what you just did”.    Maybe that thought was cause for my smile – but I digress.

This guy then looked up at me from the driver’s seat and I shit you not, he said, “I’m going to pray for you!” Then, without any further words, sped off  in a huff.  The exclamation point as used is accurate, if not understated.  His tone was sharp, accusing and cutting and I was able to easily discern that if he was in fact praying for me, he was most likely asking God to open up the earth and swallow me into it. This got me thinking and of course, you what happens when I do that.

So here am I, this person who for the last several years has deconstructed.  One who has found nothing but confusion within the institutional church and generally, fault with Christianity as a whole.   Then I get to meet this person on the street who repays me for doing my job by using his Christianity as a weapon against me.   Kind of makes me wonder how pissed off he would have been if I decided to shift gears on him and open a discussion on why he thought it was necessary to exploit his relationship with God in this manner as if my very salvation rested on whether or not I gave him a warning for speeding.   Of course, me being me, I would have reminded him of the words of Solomon.

You know what’s really funny about my job?  If I go out, do a thorough investigation that eventually culminates in the arrest of a citizen thus depriving them of their freedom, it’s okay because I’m just doing my job.   On the other hand, when I write someone a traffic ticket, you’d think that I just took away their first born child or killed a family member or something.   Heaven forbid if I go as far as writing a parking ticket for I might have just as well strapped them down to a table and waterboarded them.

I guess that it should come as no surprise that people will attempt to make someone feel like shit solely with the intent of making themselves feel better.   It’s worse when they employ God as their method of attack.  In today’s society though, especially in the United States, it is quite commonplace for religion to be used as a weapon.  Let me give you a couple of direct examples of how Christianity has been used in this manner toward me.  I’ll start with the mild and end with the “not so mild”.

• I stopped a man for speeding.  When I walked up to the car and explained the reason for the stop, he  told me that he was not paying attention because he was listening to CSN.   What was funny about this was that I was also listening to that station at that particular time so I made sure that he was aware of that little factoid – then I wrote him a speeding ticket.
• I stopped a man for an expired registration (five months expired) on a Sunday morning.  When I wrote him a ticket for an expired registration, he told me, “I can’t believe that you are writing me a ticket on the Sabbath.”   As much as I wanted to take a deep breath and not say anything, it just wasn’t in me that morning.  My response was, “Well believe it.  What day the Sabbath falls on depends on which calendar you use.  If Sunday is the first day of the week, then the Sabbath falls on a Saturday – which takes the steam out of your argument.   Secondly, if I agreed with you that today was the Sabbath, your action of driving around with an expired registration has caused me to work which by the way, is also an unholy Sabbath act.  Now stop using God as an excuse – I’m pretty sure that he’s not such a fan of that.”
• I made a stop for a speeding violation one night.  As I presented the driver with his speeding ticket, I was provided with tracts and told that I really needed Jesus in my life.  (Can you say, “slightly assumptive?”)

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The great New York Yankee’s catcher Yogi Berra once told a batter who had just made the sign of a cross when stepping into the batter’s box, “Why don’t we let God just watch this game?”   Do people who so blatantly use Christianity as a weapon consider that I wonder?  Here’s a little something for that person to stew on – maybe I was part of God’s plan for you.  Did you consider that my presence at that very moment kept you from being t-boned by a drunk driver at the next intersection?   Is it simpler than that?  Perhaps, in God’s grand purpose, whether or not you get a speeding ticket doesn’t amount to a hill of beans.   Like Yogi said, maybe we should just let God watch this game.

Emotions are a powerful thing though.   In this case, the man was a little short-sighted and could only focus on the big bad cop who was writing him a speeding ticket and needs prayer.   I can’t even begin to imagine how God feels when people act this way in His name.  I can only assume that He does not feel so good about it.

In the end, this man was definitely right about one thing.  After a full shift of having to listen to that type of bullshit from people, I most certainly need prayer!!   So having that in mind, I put a big smile on my face and some perkiness in my voice and I said,

“Thank You!”

There is one particular portion of that bill that after reading, I really had to ask myself whether or not there was anyone in the Arizona State Government that had any fucking common sense at all.

IT IS UNLAWFUL FOR A PERSON WHO IS UNLAWFULLY PRESENT IN THE UNITED STATES AND WHO IS AN UNAUTHORIZED ALIEN TO KNOWINGLY APPLY FOR WORK, SOLICIT WORK IN A PUBLIC PLACE OR PERFORM WORK AS AN EMPLOYEE OR INDEPENDENT CONTRACTOR IN THIS STATE.

Really?

If the Arizona government is dead set on plopping their fat asses into session in order to waste tax payer money making idiotic law, here’s a couple of thoughts that I have about things that I might have experienced (recently or not) and that I think should be illegal for pretty much everyone.  After all Jan, if your going to regulate and your claiming that you’re not discriminating……

• Not working at all and not trying to find work at all. (With certain exceptions)
• Sitting around swilling beer that is paid for from government assistance.  This could be called the”Keystone Provision” and would be Prima Facie evidence of the first bullet.
• Having dope in the same vicinity as a Quest Card.
• Becoming pregnant while on government assistance or getting someone pregnant while on government assistance.

I’m certainly for immigration reform but this move is one that takes the State of Arizona in the wrong direction.  The only thing Arizona has done is to create more work for their state and local government entities – and without the benefit of being any closer to a solution.

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How the fuck is it that one person claims that they can’t afford to pay child support because things are so bad but somehow manage to find the extra money to purchase tickets to the fucking Super Bowl?    What the fuck!  There is a name for Posers like you.

A piece of advice to deadbeats who might be reading this.  Man up and take care of your children.  Certainly, if you can’t take care of them, keep your little fucking dick in your pants.  I can guarantee you that one day, you’re going to want them around and they are not going to want to have anything to do with you.  I pity you the day that arrives and it will.  It’s not a matter of if, only when.

As for now, it’s too bad that summary execution is illegal because there are some sperm donors out there that need to be taken out of the fucking gene pool .

Just sayin…….

If after reading this post you find yourself in disbelief, I urge you to make a trip to the nearest boxed underworld for yourself.  You can then come to realize as I have,  that sometimes, no other word in the English language quite captures the emotion better than the dreaded “F-Bomb”.

Today’s rant involves a trip through the Walmart parking lot.  I have found that there can be a shopping cart return receptacle (I don’t know what else to call it) within six or seven parking spaces of someone’s vehicle and they will leave their cart right where it is.   I actually got to witness a guy shove his empty cart so that it free rolled across the parking row into a grassy area; this while he was only parked four spaces away (yeah…four) from a cart return.  I’m no genius and certainly not a physicist but simple logic would suggest that it would have taken less effort for him to just push it to the return.   It certainly would have made it easier on the person who has to walk around the entire parking lot picking up after lazy fucking people; not that he probably thought nor even concerned himself with that little factoid.

So anyway, I don’t suppose there’s any doubt today about what makes me say What The Fuck!

With that exploration, I came to the conclusion that while the teachings of the church (with a few exceptions) are generally correct, it is the actions of the church that are very often in direct opposition to the teachings of Jesus. For that reason, along with a few personal experiences, I eventually walked away from organized religion. Of course, I have always been of the mind that organized religion was simply the beginning of understanding; certainly not the end.

The purpose of this blog is for me to break away from the personal expectation that every time I write something, it has to be about things of a “religious” nature. It would have been hard to break away from that using the same old jello mold. I will be going through some of my early writings and rewriting them in my current paradigm. What I will be discussing mostly is the comparison of the writings and how it was that I came to where I am now. There are also some things that I have to say on other various subjects and then sometimes, I just want to vent.

This blog is definitely not going to be “G” Rated. I will be ranting, raving and venting about religion, politics and life; all using a disproportionate amount of profanity.

Honesty will be on the plate here and it will be cooked up well.